#1 – Body Modification

Body modifications like tooth filing, tongue splitting, earlobe stretching, branding, subdermal implants, tightlacing, pearling, corneal tatooing, anal stretching, extra ocular implants and pierced glasses are not classy.

Classy people do not modify their bodies with bolts, spikes, balls, hoops, bones or anything else that did not grow out of them. It may be tempting to stretch ones earlobe and place a hoop in it, but sport games already have their nets, hoops and pockets to play with. Your ear hoop is unnecessary.

I suppose it could be used for carrying small bird. Shoulders are traditional of course, but if one does not wish to look like a pirate, a tiny bird perched within ones floppy earlobe might be convenient. However, I would not recommend such a permanent modification on the off-chance that one also owns a bird with wanderlust.

Attention is good, if earned for the right reasons. Publishing a book, singing a song, defending a small child from a ravenous Brussels Griffon Terrier–these are deeds worthy of attention. But having saggy nipples due to the railroad ties shoved through them, connected to a ring in ones bellybutton by a chain made of the same metal used for the spikes sticking out of ones collarbone while reeking from the bodily secretions accumulating within ones new holes, are not.


is best known as his alter-ego Oxhorn, author of popular machinima movies. When he's not wearing suspenders with a certain sort of finesse, he's reading, writing, blogging, doing web design, making movies and more often than not enjoying a classy drink with an even classier cigar. Watch his movies at oxhorn.com and feel free to stalk him on Twitter and Facebook.

Posted in Dress & Fashion, How to Be Classy
3 comments on “#1 – Body Modification
  1. David says:

    In general I think that there are many ways that ones appearance can make them less classy. Outrageous clothing and jewelry, obnoxious behaviors, and body modification all fit into this category. How then do you feel about less blatant forms of modification? A tattoo representing an idea or person that one holds dear, easily hidden from the public eye?

    Also, I would like to state that I am glad to find that there are those in the world that feel as I do regarding classiness. Cheers.

  2. Michelle says:

    I think there are two sides to classiness; appearance and attitude. You can appear very much uneducated to others, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t a well mannered, intelligent, or overall good person.

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