Classy people don’t wear sweatpants, unless they’re at home, alone. We’ve all seen the corpulent woman strolling around the supermarket wearing what were once pink sweatpants covered in food stains (at least I hope they are food stains) with the words…

Classy people do not modify their bodies with bolts, spikes, balls, hoops, bones or anything else that did not grow out of them. It may be tempting to stretch ones earlobe and place a hoop in it, but sport games already…