Lyrics - Like the Game

I have 300 mounts.
5 tiers of raiding gear,
I have more pets than you
or anyone from there to here.

You can’t compete with me,
so don’t you even try.
I gank 5 dwarves a day
and punt gnomes until they fly!

My guild dœs ICC
and all the toughest raids.
If we played starcraft 2
we’d one-​shot the Queen of Blades.

And so I’m so confused
despite the elves I maim,
in real life I’m a n00b;
oh why can’t life be like the game!?

I feel the white light of time
as it flickers by.
When I’m unplugged I’m just a guy,
who’s life aint like the game.

I have 5000 gold
and all achievement points.
You want the violet drake?
Then earn it blit, lik-​like, muh-​muh-​mEEE!

I am the faction king,
earned exalted rewards,
including Ravenholdt and
Hydraxian Waterlords.

I’ve invested my time
and built myself a life.
I’m sure my pwning skills could
earn me a girlfriend or wife.

And so I’m so confused
and find it rather lame,
that I am all alone;
oh why can’t life be like the game?

E-​e-​e-​eight to five, ten an hour,
-fast food-​
embrace the malaise
-worthless degree-​
shut the door and power on
for the rest of my d-​d-​d-​d-​days.

I feel the white light of time,
as it flickers by.
When I’m unplugged I’m just a guy,
whose life aint like the game.

Dance girl, shake your thick tail.
Dance girl, shake your thick tail!
Come on girl, ride my epic mount
and then shake your thick tail!

I’m every player’s fantasy,
with skills seen only in your dreams.
I’ll take you on five at a time,
’cuz I’m my own arena team!

Pwning, punting, casting, fearing,
camping corpses, laughing jeering,
mining, crafting, buying, selling,
ninja-​looting legendaries.

Driving, working, eating, sleeping,
coughing, sneezing, wheezing, breathing,
every day is just the same
oh why can’t life be like the game!?

Hello darling. Will you be my girl?
I’ll shard your purples and let you ride my rocket mount.
I lesser-​than-​three you, my sweet.
Save a spot in the raid for me,
and I’ll place a gem in your sockets.

Day-​in, day-​out, going without,
social graces, friendly faces,
new achievements, grinding faction,
hoarding badges, CG action.

I feel the white light of time,
as it flickers by.
When I’m unplugged I’m just a guy,
whose life aint like the game.

About Oxhorn I’m an author, songwriter and movie-​maker who lives in Seattle, WA. I earned my BA in history from the University of Washington and have been interested in arguments, reasoning, research, writing and history ever since. I’m best known for my animated comedy machinima movies and music which you can find at oxhorn​.com. Visit brandonMdennis​.com for more about me, and be sure to subscribe, follow me on Twitter and Facebook. Watch my weekly live show, Scotch & Smoke Rings, at 7:00 PM Pacific for more classiness.