Script -- Inventing Swear Words 3 Trailer

ISW3 TRAILER SCRIPT

Scene opens with a simple text field that says, “Previously on Inventing Swear Words…” narrated by me. It then switches to a series of previous episodes, most of which are fictional, and some of which make fun of other movies. Here are some examples:

Oxhorn and staghorn are screaming, with Mortuus and Lauren looking away, as in ISW2. It then switches to a new bit.

Lauren

Oxhorn, there’s something you should know. I… I am your father.

Mortuus nods.

Oxhorn

No… no! That’s impossible!

Lauren

Search your feelings; you know it to be true!

Oxhorn

No seriously, that’s impossible. I mean… you’re female.

Lauren

…So?

Scene switch. Mort, stag and Hat are in a boat.

Mort

staghorn! Are there gnomes ahead?

staghorn

If there are, we’ll all be dead!

Hat walks into scene.

Hat

No more rhymes now, I mean it!

staghorn

Anybody want a peanut?

Scene switches to the ship in drop-​shadow against a sunset.

Hat

Gah!

Scene switch. Outside Orgrimmar, staghorn stands pointing at the Zeppelin tower.

staghorn

If this zeppelin gœs faster than twelve knots, we’re all going to die!

Scene switch, inside the zeppelin. Mort stands on deck amongst snakes.

Mort

Why, are there so many bloitin’ snakes on this gratin’ zeppelin!

Scene switches to stag and Ox in the Searing Gorge somewhere, or maybe in Blackrock Mountain. They have on capes and curly wigs.

Ox

I’m glad you’re here with me stag.

stag

Of course I am Mr. Oxhorn. I made a promise didn’t I?

stag and Ox get closer and look each other in the eyes.

Ox

Mmmm.

stag

Mmmm!

Ox

Mmmm…

Mort appears from behind a rock.

Mortuus

What’s taters, eh? What’s taters, precious?!

Scene switch: stag and Ox are walking along a street and stop in front of an alley, singing “White Lines” like in Shaun of the Dead.

Ox/stag

Something of a phenomenon,
telling my body to come along,
white lines, blow away!
oh, get higher baby!

Mort

Euuuuugh!

Ox/stag

Dubba-​dubba-​dubba-​dubba-​dubba-​da-​da!

Mort

Euuuuugh!

Ox/stag

Dubba-​dubba-​dubba-​dubba-​dubba-​da-​da!

Mort

Euuuuugh!

stag

What’s he doing?

Ox

Should say… base.

stag

Or… freeze.

Scene Switch: Matrix spoof

staghorn

You, Oxhorn, are The One.

Oxhorn

The One what?

staghorn

You know… THE One. You’re infinitesimal logicalities overcome the simplistic superfluencies of quadrilateral pneumonia.

Oxhorn

Uh… what?

staghorn

Enough! Let us practice our super ninja skills!

Both Tauren leap into the air and do the whole slow motion stuff before crashing into each other and falling to the floor.

Scene Switch: Seinfeld spoof – “spare a square”

Lacy

Three squares? You can’t spare three squares?

Anonymous Female

No, I don’t have a square to spare, I can’t spare a square!

Lacy

Well is it two ply? Because if it’s two ply I’ll take one ply, one measly little ply.

Anonymous Female

Look! I don’t have a square and I don’t have a ply!

Scene Switch: Gladiator spoof. “Are you not entertained?”

Scene Switch: Shaun of the Dead spoof again. The scene with all the swearing. “Can you see why I’m so bloiting angry!”

Mort

It’s four in the flakkin morning!

Ox

It’s Saturday!

Mort

No, it’s not. It’s gratin’ Sunday, and I’ve got to go to bloitting work in four chakkin hours because every other blit in my bloitting department is bloitting ill. Now can you see why I’m so bloitting angry!

stag

Bloit yeah!

End with “Coming Soon” and then credits.

fiN

About Oxhorn I’m an author, songwriter and movie-​maker who lives in Seattle, WA. I earned my BA in history from the University of Washington and have been interested in arguments, reasoning, research, writing and history ever since. I’m best known for my animated comedy machinima movies and music which you can find at oxhorn​.com. Visit brandonMdennis​.com for more about me, and be sure to subscribe, follow me on Twitter and Facebook. Watch my weekly live show, Scotch & Smoke Rings, at 7:00 PM Pacific for more classiness.