Script - The Orna-​Prints Salesman

Salesman

Hello there sir! Excuse me, do you have a sec? step right this way and prepare to be amazed. What I have here is probably the best — nay — the super best — thing you will ever see. Are you ready? Take a look at this; miniature model of stormwind, as a Christmas ornament. Beautiful, eh? Now, I know what you’re thinking, “hey, that ornament is really cool, but it is probably too expensive for me”. But not so! You can buy this little baby for the low, low price of… ten thousand gold. Amazing! I know! So, what do you think?

Mort

N00b.

Salesman

Ah, yes, well, I realize that it might not be in everyone’s budget, but that’s why we over at Orna-​Prints have developed a low, low monthly payment plan for our one-​of-​a-​kind, limited edition Christmas ornaments. You can walk away with this rare model of stormwind to hang from your tree, for the low monthly payment of just $150 gold a month. Good deal, eh?

Mortuus

Fail, FTL!

Salesman

Oh ok, ok, you know I’m a business man, I’m willing to do a little haggling. I can see that you are a modern man of affairs and that you have refined taste.

Mort

Rox0rz box0rz!

Salesman

So, I’d be willing to go as low as… twelve thousand gold.

Mort

Kekeke.

Salesman

OK? So we have a deal?

Mort

Nopez0rsz, l33t hax PWNT!

Salesman

… keh, sssorry, I think we’re having communication problems.

Mort

Lol.

Salesman

All right, now I know you really want this ornament and I feel sorry for you, so I’m going to do you a personal favor (don’t tell my boss I’m doing this or I could get fired, k?)

Mort

Kekeke.

Salesman

For you, I’ll let this one of a kind ornament go for… eight thousand.

Mort

Fail

Salesman

five thousand

Mort

FTL!

Salesman

Two thousand.

Mort

Lmao.

Salesman

five hundred, please, just buy it from me! I need this commission! Just buy the thing, five hundred, its all I ask!

Mort

Nnnnnnnnnn00b.

Salesman

fine, take it, just take the bloitting thing. Do you want the shirt off my back too? You already have my dignity. I’m going home to look in the mirror and cry!

Mort

PWNT, QQ! QQ roflmao.

About Oxhorn I’m an author, songwriter and movie-​maker who lives in Seattle, WA. I earned my BA in history from the University of Washington and have been interested in arguments, reasoning, research, writing and history ever since. I’m best known for my animated comedy machinima movies and music which you can find at oxhorn​.com. Visit brandonMdennis​.com for more about me, and be sure to subscribe, follow me on Twitter and Facebook. Watch my weekly live show, Scotch & Smoke Rings, at 7:00 PM Pacific for more classiness.